Can I get some help here, please?

So, I've been pretty quiet lately. In case you haven't noticed. Trust me when I say there are some people who were breathing a sigh of relief when the Myspace blogosphere quietly fell apart and I got writer's block. The attention whore took a break. I haven't asked for much; I haven't given much, either. And for that I'm chagrined. And it's about to change.

I'm asking you all now for help.

Usually by this time of year I've burst my little bubble of housewifedom and lit out for greener pastures with at least a few of my wonderful, raucous, caring, beautiful girlfriends. We load up on the food we won't let our kids eat, stuff our suitcases with more booze than clothes and go to Lake Tahoe. We sleep. We eat. We drink. We sit and read trashy magazines. We drink some more. We bitch and piss and moan and commiserate. Then we hit the casinos and spend money at the blackjack table and drink and laugh and drink and I dance. Well, I call it dancing. It's more accurate to call it "flailing like a decapitated turkey". We're mildly inappropriate and then we drink some more. Then we come home and immediately start planning our next getaway.
This year, through agonizingly horrifyingly unfortunate accident in one case and just general malaise and financial woes in the other case, both of my trips were canceled. I moped. I whined. I withdrew. I threw myself a huge pity party and wallowed in it.

Then I got an email from my friend Kim. Kim, whom I only know through her mostly hilarious and blush-inducing blogs back in the MySpace days. Kim who has no problem telling people exactly how she feels about them. Kim who has an adorable son and devoted husband and loyal friends. Kim who is best described by the word "spunky" (which, if you read her blogs, should make you giggle). Kim who has Multiple Sclerosis, a debilitating disease that has no cure. A disease she has mentioned but never complains about. A disease that she wakes up every morning with, says "fuck you" to, and leads the charge to destroy.
She was looking for team mates and/or donations for a fundraiser walk. Not just any fundraiser walk; a 3-day, 50-mile march of insanity. In Wisconsin, which is half a continent away from her. And from me.

She has MS and works full time, and she walked 50 miles last year. I have a cushy life as a housewife, and I drank my way down the strip at Tahoe last year.

Yeah. I think it's time for a change. So, I've taken all the cash I saved up for my Tahoe drunkfest trips and I bought a plane ticket to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I paid $125 entry fee to join her team (the LaDorkas, and a finer bunch of women you will never find). I bought new walking shoes. I've been training by dragging my overly energetic Golden Retriever all over town in 95 degree heat every day. I'm ready.

Here's the catch and where you, my patient and excellent friend and reader, come in. Ready?

I can only participate in the walk if I raise $1500 in donations. No funds, no walking. I'll fly to Wisconsin and watch while my brave friend Kim, who has MS, walks 50 miles hoping some medical genius will use the money to make it so that she can play with her son forever.

I don't want to watch her walk, no matter how cute her ass is. I want to do this walk with her. I want to do it for her. I want to do it for my friend Eric. I want to do it because horrible things happen to excellent people and maybe I can help. I want to not be selfish for a minute. I want to do it so that I can meet Janet and Kathy and Patty and Donna and the other Dorkas. I don't want to watch their sweet jiggly asses walk away without me.

So please, help a girl out, will ya? Click on the link below and donate in my name. The minimum suggested donation is $25. If every single on of the people on my friends list gives me $15 or even $10, I'm good to go and can leave you all in peace and not bother you any more. Nor will I have to resort to putting change cans on the counter at 7-11. I have 60 days left to raise this money. And I'm really pretty good at bothering people.

I can't promise much in return besides a heartfelt "Thank You". But I will mean it. And I will promise to continue trying to be a better person, a better friend, and a better writer. Which should make you feel better, right?

Thank you for your time. Now grab your credit card and click, please. Have I mentioned how fabulous you look today?

My link: Wisconsin Challenge MS Walk 2010--Vanessa Fravel

If you prefer to pay with cash or check, you can mail it to:
National MS Society - Wisconsin Chapter (include my name with your donation):
1120 James Drive, Suite A,
Hartland, WI 53029.

Or to me. If you send me an email, I'll send you my address.
Or you can give it to me in person. You know I'm going to ask, so you might as well just fork it over as soon as you see me.