Help an Up-on-her-luck housewife for charity? Please?

I am a lucky person. If the world is, indeed, separated into the Haves and the Have-nots I am fortunate enough to consider my self squarely in the first category.

I'm married to a wonderful hard-working man who gets up unimaginably early and spends ten-plus hours every day at a stressful job that I don't completely understand. He's handsome and a great dad to boot. I have a smart, beautiful, healthy daughter who only drives me bonkers 48% of the time. I have supportive caring parents who are generous with their time and love. I have awesome friends who (mostly) aren't embarrassed to hang out with me. I live in a sturdy, albeit small, house that has heat and clean water and a pantry full of food and wine. I have dogs who are always happy to see me (until I kick their lazy bums off the couch, anyway). I have a car that takes me wherever I want to go. I'm healthy.

Yep; I've got it pretty good. I really can't complain. (Although, if you know me, you know I somehow manage to anyway. I'm working on that.)

Being a fortunate person, I feel like it's my responsibility to give back. To help others. In that spirit, I've volunteered (sort of) for a few different charitable events coming up. Unfortunately, I've somehow managed to volunteer in ways that put me in the position of having to do the one thing I hate the most: Asking for money. It makes me squirm and I'm not even really sure why. It probably has to do with the little bit of low self-esteem I've got going on; I'm always afraid people won't think I'm worthy of their hard-earned money. I also do not like being told "No" but do not have the cajones to persist. Having not had a lot of money in the past, I feel bad putting others in the position of unwillingly giving money they may not be able to spare. Even though this money is not for me and will be going to causes much greater than my little self...I dunno. I just suck at asking people for money. I'd much rather just sneak into my daughter's classroom and help the teacher a few hours a week. I'd rather go to the adult literacy center and teach people to read. I'd rather go to the Humane Society and clean kennels for animals who have known evil people and abandonment.

But that's not what I'm doing at the moment. I'm asking for money. Specifically, I'm asking YOU for money. Or stuff. If you can spare even a few (tax-deductible) bucks for a good cause, please read on:

Accidental Volunteer Position #1:

Junior Achievement. The wonderful husband works for the Evil Empire. The Evil Empire does a TON of good, honest charity work. More than most people would ever believe. The hubby put together a team to participate in the Junior Achievement Bowl-a-thon to raise money for JA Utah. The money raised will go to help kids who are not as fortunate as our daughter get a better education. If you'd like to help me out (Um, this happens tomorrow. I've raised exactly zero dollars. I was supposed to raise $200.), please click the link below:
Help Me Support JA of Utah

If you're nice, I'll post videos of me bowling. Now that is worth $20 and a laugh, right?

Accidental Volunteer Position #2:

Highland Park Elementary Arts Night Silent Auction Committee. Oy vey. I so did not mean to get on this committee. But here I am and I'm really trying to do what I'm supposed to do. But if one more business owner looks down their nose at me and lies to my face about getting back to me and smirking as I slink out the door, I'll...I'll...slink faster.
Ok, we're not looking for cash donations. What we are looking for is anything else. The committee wants lots of gift cards that parents can bid on. Honestly I don't get that, but ok. We also need art. Nice-looking art items that might bring in a few dollars. Big or small. Got anything? Please let me know. I'll even come pick it up from you! Etsy sellers, artists, hobbyist; this is your chance to showcase your wares! Businesses, we will pimp you out BIG TIME. Also, if you are feeling particularly philanthropic today, we really really need a Big Ticket Item to raffle off. Last year we had an iPod touch. Anyone have a spare new-in-box Wii sitting around? Yeah, something like that would be great. Thanks.

Whew. Ok. That's it for now. Seriously, if you are one of the lucky Haves and can spare any of your fortune, no matter how small, I will be forever grateful.

Thank you.

(But don't get too comfy. I have one more plea for donations to hit you with. But it's special and will get it's own blog. Or three. )

Sorry. Sorry. Oh, crap, I'm sorry.

I'll come right out and say it: I'm a flake. A huge, monstrous, ginormous fucking flake. Chances are if you ask me to do something, need me to call you, expect me to help you with something, 74% of the time you'll be shit out of luck. No matter what I've said or how bright-eyed-bushy-tailed I was when I told you I would do/call/be there.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not bragging. I'm not proud of it. Hell, I'm not even conscious of it most of the time. I agree to do something, be somewhere, maybe even write it down. Maybe you call me or text me right before to remind me of my obligation. And I have every honest intention of following through. And then I just...don't.

Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad personality flaw, really, if I just didn't offer to do stuff in the first place. Or if I didn't care what people think of me. Or if my feeble excuses and apologies really made it all better. (Why do we tell kindergarteners that "Sorry" fixes things? It doesn't. Really. Right?) But the problem is twofold:

1) I volunteer for way too many things, whether it's being on the PTA board or offering to edit someone's manuscript or help my husband fundraise so he looks good at work. I just can't say no. It started in college, really...but that's another story.

2) I'm horribly disorganized and forgetful, and I procrastinate like I invented the concept. I also don't make much of an effort to force myself to do things that make me uncomfortable, like ask people for donations to charities.

So I guess my problem is partially unconscious and partially bad behavior. Does that make it a personality disorder?