True or False or Just Crap?

Me too! Me too! Oo! Pick me!
Current mood: devious
Category: Games



I hate being left out of anything. So I’m going to follow (or try; they’re pretty clever) Cog’s, Jo’s and Uhhh…’s leads and see how much you all know about me, or can figure out by using what you know about what a dork I am.

So, five of these statements are true, five are false. Do you know which is which? And just for fun, I’m upping the ante; the winner gets a trophy! Yay!

Ok, without further ado-whacka-do:

1. In my senior year of high school, I won a scholarship to study abroad in the summer. Since I had already graduated, I was sent as a “cultural exchange” student. Essentially, all I learned about Greek culture was that there was no drinking age and that Greek men are yummy little momma’s boys, and that it’s indeed possible to put on 20 pounds in six weeks eating cheese. In exchange, I taught the Greeks that American girls can drink and will make out with just about anyone.
2. Most of you know that I’m a writer, working on her “first” novel. What you might not know is that I’m secretly already a published author. Five years ago I wrote an extremely naughty and graphic adult/erotica novel that was published under a pseudonym and for which I receive a quarterly royalties check. Apparently I have some talent there.
3. A guy once pulled a knife on me in a dark corner of a club, I suppose to either rob me or rape me or both. I started to laugh hysterically and point at him, and he got embarrassed, dropped the knife and ran away.
4. While vacationing in London, I stalked Andy Bell (the lead singer of my all-time favorite band, Erasure) and ended up hanging out with him and a group of British music bigwigs in a gay bar until three in the morning. With the Underground and BlackCabs done running for the night, I had to take an illegal cab back to my hotel, which is exceedingly stupid for an American tourist to ever do. It was also Valentine’s Day, and my husband had stayed at the hotel and gone to bed alone while I partied it up in a club full of gay men.
5. I originally wanted to be a biologist, and interned as a zookeeper’s assistant in college, helping to take care of the chimpanzees and orangutans. While I was working one day, I accidentally left the lock to the chimps’ cage open while I ran to grab the rake I’d left down the hall. Since there were double barred doors and the latches were engaged, I didn’t think the lock would make a difference for five seconds. When I turned back to the cage door, the chimps had figured out how to open the double doors and had escaped. One of the other keepers was there, and he quickly tried to get them to go back into their cage. Instead, they attacked him and bit off his nose and half of an ear. All three of them (the chimps, not the wounded keeper) were shot dead by another keeper right there in the hall, while I stood brandishing my rake and nearly peeing my pants.
6. I was once engaged to two different men at the same time and neither of them knew about the other.
7. My husband was the sole heir to a German fortune, via his great aunt. Her estate was worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and she sent us money every year. He was lax about keeping in touch with her regularly and when she died last year, her will was sent to us. We got really excited until we read the last part, where she had changed the will, disinherited us, and instead passed her fortune on to her husband’s great-nephew, who had been taking care of her for the last few years of her life. Instead of being set for life, we got a gold pocketwatch and a lecture from said nephew.
8. I have been engaged four times, but only married once.
9. When I worked as a personal trainer I once entered a body building contest, even though I had never trained for it and had zero idea how do the whole cheesy posing thing. I won second place.
10. In my adult life, I have had fourteen dogs, twenty cats and eight rabbits. All of them were rescues.

Okey-dokey, folks! Wanna guess?